Unamused.

I've been bitching and whining about this at every opportunity, so I'm going to do it here too! Something is wrong with the ulnar nerve in my left elbow. It's pinched or trapped or something. Whatever it is, it hurts. My left pinky, ring finger, and that entire side of my hand are numb, I'm having problems gripping things with that hand so I'm dropping damn near everything I touch, doing anything makes my elbow hurt, and I'm going stir crazy because I can't do anything. I've already been to the doctor about it, have drugs for it, and have a referral to an ortho if it stays the same or gets worse in the next 10 days or so, but I'm still going to bitch and complain about it... Knitting hurts. Driving hurts (putting the seat belt on, taking it off, and opening the door is the worst). Watering the veggie garden hurts. Typing hurts (but you see it's not stopping me from going slow with one hand!). Grocery shopping made my hand and fingers burn, go even more numb (didn't think it was possible!), and made my elbow hurt like hell. I didn't even use my left arm! I literally pushed the mini two tier cart around with one hand, and looked like an idiot using only my right hand to pay and load my groceries into the car...

I am 100% not amused with this shit. Next week is my busiest week of the month, and I can't not type and do computer work. I have no one to help me or cover for me. No one in the office knows what I do, and the few times I've tried to train someone on the essential things to do while I'm on vacation they end up getting overwhelmed with it all and having major meltdowns. The office joke is that the GM's don't know what I do every day, but they don't want to bother me to ask because I always look really busy doing whatever it is I do... And it is such a bizarre feeling to have 1.5 numb fingers and about 1/3rd of my hand numb. The gripping thing is a really weird feeling too. I feel like I have a good grip on something, but then I end up dropping it even if I concentrate on NOT dropping it! It's actually a little bit scary. When it first happened and then wouldn't go away, I was sitting in a meeting (in MA of all places...) going "Holy shit, what if I'm having a stroke?! I can't have a stroke in front of all of these people! I just turned 27! I'm way too young to be having a stroke!" One of the IT guys saw the slight panic in my face, and stopped his presentation to ask me if I was ok. I just went "I think so...... But now I'm shaky and don't know if it's from being freaked out because my fingers and hand are numb and won't go back to normal or because I need some sugar. Could someone please hand me a little bit of orange juice??" When I didn't drop, I decided to just ignore it for the moment, but then it got worse on Friday and.... Yeah. It's worse today than it was Friday, so hopefully the drugs will start helping once they kick in. I only took the pain killer last night and started the prednisone this morning. The pain killer makes my knee stop hurting, but really doesn't touch the elbow. Fail. I have a love/hate relationship with the prednisone. It makes me lose my appetite, but my asthma is GONE while I'm on it. It's awesome to be able to breathe like a normal person, but it sucks because I can't eat.

So to make myself feel better, I'm watching crappy tv shows and making potato soup in the vitamix for dinner. I had a lot of things that I was planning on doing this weekend, but all of them result in more pain. It sucks. I'm bored. I'm the type of person who has to be doing something all the time. I can't watch a movie without doing something with my hands otherwise I lose it. I ended up reading for the majority of the day, but my nook ran out of charge and I was getting fidgety anyway. I wonder if the new Doctor Who will be up on Zune late late tonight or tomorrow....